40 Things I Learned In 40 Years

Purple velvet, via 1974

1978

The day I turned 40, March 1, 2014

I turned 40, three months ago, and I never got the chance to share my 40 THINGS in 40 years so I am sharing them today. I hope you take even one away, ok, maybe like half a dozen, away from this list, more enlightened. Fortunately and unfortunately, I learned most of this the hard way.

1. We are all a fallen, broken, hurting people.
2. You can't always get what you want, and most of the time you won't.
3. Life throws many curve balls (unplanned stuff), let it TEACH you, don't resist it.
4.  Life is fragile and so are people, handle with care.
5. Not everyone thinks the way you do; and no matter your attempts to get them to, they most likely never will.
6. Compassion and empathy should be your two sidekicks.
7. Some people just don't apologize. You can move on with or without their sorries, or admitting to wrong doing. YES you can.
8. Life is unfair. PERIOD.
9. Life is quite beautiful if you see it through a different set of eyes than the ones that are preventing you from seeing it.
10. You can't always get what you need from your parents.
11. The best thing you can do for your kid is give them emotional support (aside from giving them the basic food, clothing and shelter).
12. Your kids are human--aahhh novel thought!
13. Redemption is sweeter than anything I have ever experienced.
14.  It's OK to have regrets.
15. Your joy or happiness does not have to depend on someone else.
16. Others behaviors or attitudes rarely have to do with YOU. Hard to believe but true.
17. Forgiveness is a choice. 
18. Letting go is a choice.
19. Don't give your kids things just to make them happy.
20.  Don't interrupt people. When they are sharing their heart, treat it as valuable information and let them know you heard them.
21. Marriage is not for the faint of heart.
22. Marriage is not the answer for your happiness, or fulfillment.
23. Dogs make extremely lovely companions!
24. Not everyone will like you.
25. Relationships take effort and intention, or they won't exist.
26. To-do lists are overrated.
27. Your spouse is flawed.
28. The vastness of Gods love toward you can change your life.
29. Be patient with your in-laws. 
30. You are not your past mistakes.
31. Your circumstances, no matter what they are, you have purpose no matter what.
32. Examine your own heart, not someone else's.
33. Don't have expectations of others. Live in a world of expectancy instead.
34. We can't control others or change them.
35. Work through your bitterness and contempt. It only serves one person, and that's you, and it serves you poorly.
36. Use your manners.
37. Be an advocate of your own health.
38. People need grace, a lot of it. (Grace is undeserved kindness)
39. I truly believe if we choose to see others through the eyes of God, we would see them in a whole new light.
40. Not everyone will appreciate or notice all your efforts.