Monday, November 11, 2013

I Want To Be Her


First I wanted to be that girl on the big screen,
you know, the one with perfect skin
and fashionable outfits?

Then I wanted to be that one girl,
the one who everyone 
gathers around at a party 
because she's got it all together, you know her?

I really wanted to be the successful girl,
so I could be powerful,
ya know, like a feminist...my tenth grade biology teacher told me I was one--not a successful
girl, but you know, a feminist, I think there is some
truth in it.

I really wanted to be the girl on the cat walk, but 
my height killed me.

Then I started admiring the girl
who took amazing photos--thinking
how is capturing that through a lens, possible?

I would love to be that clever writer, the girl
that knows "big words" and
can paint a story on a page, you know
who I'm talking about?

I thought I needed to be the girl with thousands
of blog followers too--I really wanted to be her.
I didn't think I was good enough if I wasn't.

The girl with the perfect man--that girl, ya, I wanted
to be her too.

There's also that girl who raises chickens,
bakes her own bread,
and grows her own herbs.

Would have been cool to have been
the girl with four babies just about all at once, with
two on my hips at the same time.

But after much contemplation, I don't want to be that girl, her, or her.
I want, and am content with being this girl. Me.
I struggle with being me sometimes,
but I am learning to love her and
all that she is.
There's a bit of everything in me.
And I like exploring.

23 comments:

Discovery Street said...

Gina, YES. So much Yes. you are a beautiful spirit and soul my friend.

Raquel said...

I loved this so much. <3

Laci Burton said...

Yes. You are just as you ought to be. True to the uniqueness of you, how He created you. You could have been all those other things but they would not compare or be as valuable as who and what you are right now. It's "this" you that makes His heart beat as it does. It's "this" you that bears the most resemblance to Him and His love.

chambanachik said...

Adore this. :)

the turquoise paintbrush said...

Oh, oh, oh. Sweet friend this. is. amazing. You've inspired me in more ways you'll ever know. (Thank you)
xo

Jessie said...

Great post Gina! I can relate to this. It is best to love ourselves and not compare ourselves to everyone else! :)

Victoria said...

This is the best post I've read anywhere in a while!!! These words are perfect. :) Just today as I left the grocery store, I was thinking about how different people's lives have turned out, how they actually got to where and who they are, and then I began to think about my life...Where am I going? Who am I becoming? What will my "there" look like? I didn't find the answers, I didn't even find hopes. I found quiet rest in where I am today and for now, that's enough. You are, right,I am me. God's got me.

Christine said...

beautifully written. I would imagine this speaks so truly of so many women, myself included.

Knitted Fox said...

♥♥♥

This is something I have been struggling with also, and have also decided I like ME, not "her". I'm happy with ME.

I super duper really like you for you~

Creating Through LIFE said...

LOVE this!

Andrea said...

I can sooo identify with this... Learning to be happy in our own skin is so important!

christina said...

This was so good...and oh you are defiantly the girl that paints a story with words.

On a funny note when I was in school I had a HUGE feminist art teacher...I fairly sure she thought I was a let down to women b/c I got married sooooo young. lol. SHe told me it was a mistake...I proved her wrong :)

therealdaniel said...

Needless to say that that was absolutely wonderful.

Michelle said...

I LOVE this, Gina!

Shane Prather said...

Beautiful Gina <3

Jazzie Shea said...

This is just the reminder my heart needed!!!
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!(:

Anonymous said...

Awesome. Thank you.

Kelly said...

you really are so beautiful inside and out. i love your willingness to be honest. your honesty blesses me big.

Stephanie said...

I love this...SO MUCH. I feel like I'm just beginning to really understand myself, and really like who I am. Wouldn't it be so much easier if we could do that from a young age, instead of wanting to be other people? But it's a really beautiful thing when you start to love yourself. I love your willingness to share this with all of us. So beautiful!

Kathy Masterjohn said...

I am so proud of the beautiful writings that you share with everyone. I hope you know what a proud mom I am!!

Natalie said...

Mmhmm! I can so relate to these words Gina =)

Liv Lundelius said...

You are beautiful! Inside and out!

Mandy Crandell said...

YOU are amazing! I really like the way this was written. Could be a cool inspirational book idea.

http://www.somethingmonumental.com/