Throughout our weeks, and days, our hearts can be oh so heavy for so many different reason. We could be having marriage difficulties, financial difficulties, friendship hardship, illness, depression, tough parenting days or struggling to find a real purpose in life. Struggling to feel like your life is worth something.
For me, because I don't work outside of the home, I struggle with this probably the most. This world puts such an emphasis on getting paid at a job. Success and the money one makes is so glorified, so much so that it can break me down. It can make me feel like what I'm doing is less important. Like my offerings around the home and with my husband are not as worthy. Or that being a stay at home mom to an almost 18 year old is ridiculous.
Life brings on pressure that way. And this week I really struggled, as I was working on crocheting and finishing up granny squares for the first time.
I kept thinking it was wrong that it's the middle of the day and I'm crocheting. I'm reading and having devotional time and listening to music like that's not ok or acceptable. Or I'm putting my clothes away that have been laying around my bedroom for a week because it's hard to find the strength or ambition to do it. Or I find myself embroidering and think, what a loser. Get a life. Isn't that awful? What terrible, negative self talk. I hate it. But as I continue in my week, I hear a soft nudge, a gentle voice say:
You are so worthy, you have such purpose and you are not a waste! You don't have to bring in money or leave the home to have a purpose or to be important. You matter no matter what you are doing or where you are at. You have been sick for a long time my child, you have been through a lot. Remember that. Remember all the years you didn't get to do things when other people your age were. Remember, you aren't the one who wanted to quit your job. Give yourself this time to heal, and just be. That's ok. You are loving me, right? You are loving others, right? Then you gotta love yourself. If you are doing this, you are worth more than rubies. If you feel like the world is on top of you, just tell yourself the truth: You are loved by me and I am devoted to you more than anyone else! I find you beautiful whether you are crocheting, embroidering, doing dishes, working, sitting, listening to music, reading, writing, mothering or none of these things at all. Because your worth is not found in these things. Not even one of them. Find your sense of self and worth wrapped up in me. I am your friend, and your constant companion. When the world is eating you alive, take a deep breath and know where your real life comes from. Nothing can separate us and nothing ever will. You are my beloved. I am your God.