Thursday, September 13, 2012

When The Heart's Heavy


Throughout our weeks, and days, our hearts can be oh so heavy for so many different reason. We could be having marriage difficulties, financial difficulties, friendship hardship, illness, depression, tough parenting days or struggling to find a real purpose in life. Struggling to feel like your life is worth something.

For me, because I don't work outside of the home, I struggle with this probably the most. This world puts such an emphasis on getting paid at a job. Success and the money one makes is so glorified, so much so that it can break me down. It can make me feel like what I'm doing is less important. Like my offerings around the home and with my husband are not as worthy. Or that being a stay at home mom to an almost 18 year old is ridiculous.
Life brings on pressure that way. And this week I really struggled, as I was working on crocheting and finishing up granny squares for the first time.

I kept thinking it was wrong that it's the middle of the day and I'm crocheting. I'm reading and having devotional time and listening to music like that's not ok or acceptable. Or I'm putting my clothes away that have been laying around my bedroom for a week because it's hard to find the strength or ambition to do it. Or I find myself embroidering and think, what a loser. Get a life. Isn't that awful? What terrible, negative self talk. I hate it. But as I continue in my week, I hear a soft nudge, a gentle voice say:

You are so worthy, you have such purpose and you are not a waste! You don't have to bring in money or leave the home to have a purpose or to be important. You matter no matter what you are doing or where you are at. You have been sick for a long time my child, you have been through a lot. Remember that. Remember all the years you didn't get to do things when other people your age were. Remember, you aren't the one who wanted to quit your job. Give yourself this time to heal, and just be. That's ok. You are loving me, right? You are loving others, right? Then you gotta love yourself. If you are doing this, you are worth more than rubies. If you feel like the world is on top of you, just tell yourself the truth: You are loved by me and I am devoted to you more than anyone else! I find you beautiful whether you are crocheting, embroidering, doing dishes, working, sitting, listening to music, reading, writing, mothering or none of these things at all. Because your worth is not found in these things. Not even one of them. Find your sense of self and worth wrapped up in me. I am your friend, and your constant companion. When the world is eating you alive, take a deep breath and know where your real life comes from. Nothing can separate us and nothing ever will. You are my beloved. I am your God.

image via

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34 comments:

Elisha said...

This inspired me soo much Gina!! Thankyouthankyou<3

circleofchaos said...

Nice picture.:-)
My Blog

BIKBIK AND RORO said...

Wonderful post. And I hear you. You might perhaps be interested in my post here: http://bikbikroro.blogspot.sg/2011/11/on-working-as-mom.html You ARE worthy, and you are loved.

vintage grey said...

Oh Gina, being a stay at home mom is such a blessing, and when I have kids I look forward to doing the same! The Lord has you where He wants you, and where you will truly shine! I definitely am with you in these feelings, so your not alone, but what comfort we can have in God who loves us! Blessings, Heather

Kelly said...

You are speaking my love language. i struggle so much with this exact thing. just today i was trying to convince myself that mothering my boys was worth way more than getting a pay check. my "job" as a mom and wife in the end will be the most rewarding.
needed the reminder that I am beloved too.

thank you friend.

p.s. keep doin what your doin in the middle of the day, late at night, early in the morning, and whenever. i love to see your happenings pop up on IG.

xxO

nicole said...

it is in that "soft nudge, a gentle voice" that we can find ourselves. thank you for your transparency.

BARBIE said...

I would give anything to stay home with my children. My two oldest are 21 (married) and 18, and I was unable to stay home with them. My youngest two are 12 and 9. I am homeschooling 12yo while working full time. I love what I do, but I have such admiration for moms who have the privilege of staying home and pouring into their children. Bless you!

lindsay said...

love the dose of encouragement, thanks gina <3

Magical Day Dream said...

This is beautiful! I can totally have the negative self-talk too. Yesterday for example, I didn't feel too good. I couldn't concentrate on my research, it was cold, I was missing my boyfriend and my best friend's mother got a surgery. I kept on thinking how bad I was for not working hard enough the last days on my research.. Bit some days just are like that, I should try to love myself more, even if it means I don't get as much done as I was hoping to. Thanks for the reminder :)

x

Marielle

Elle Sees said...

thank you for sharing this with us. i'm always down this time of year. but luckily it's all good.

his little lady said...

honestly, this is exactly what i needed to hear today. i haven't been able to find a job yet, and it can be so discouraging when people ask me all the time what i'm doing with my life, what job i have, etc. I just have to remember that the little things i do around the house are worthy, and when the time comes, i'll find something ;)
xo TJ

Daisy said...

This is encouraging! I think that we all struggle with these thought of self worth. I needed the reminder today.

Chrissy said...

I know exactly what you mean. I felt the same way during our 3 years in the US when I was a sahm. I felt bad for getting to do things others couldn't cause they had to go to work. And some would even tell me how lucky I was all the time.
But, we are so wrong to feel bad about it. We are worth everything we do and everything we are.
Don't feel bad...you deserve to be happy! xxx

christina said...

lovely post Gina!!

Stephanie said...

Thank you for this! My husband always has to remind me that it's ok to be at home, and that I don't have to work outside of the home to contribute to our family. I do freelance graphic design part-time, and run my little Etsy shop, but sometimes I feel like it's not enough. Like crocheting and painting are such silly things to be doing. But God wants us to use our talents, and to be thankful for our circumstances, so I try to remember that. It's hard sometimes, but I'm working on it. : )

And thank you again for your embroidery...I can't tell you how much I love it!

Krista said...

Such a beautiful post Gina! A wonderful reminder of where we find our worth. You are such a treasure and such an inspiration and we are so blessed that you share your heart with us :)

Sapir Levin said...

This post is so beautifully written! And I feel like we all have those days when everything isn't perfectly put together - or at least appears to be. I know I have them all the time! My mom was a stay at home mom too and I can say from personal experience that it is definitely worth while!
Have a great weekend,
Sapir

Jenna Grace said...

The job you've done of staying home with your daughter is an unbelievable gift. It's rare and so special to have a mom at home, available, ever present. Thank you for this post and the message you share.

Grace said...

oh, this is SO true. the world tries to portray women as being so unworthy if they do not have a successful career, but in my honest opinion, I believe that a stay-at-home mom such as yourself is the most purposeful occupation in the world as you are raising a generation to do right, respect others, and above all - to love God. and that I think is the most highest calling of all.
i think that you're a great mom and I admire you so very much. ;)

much love,
Grace
>>----> joyfully tending her garden @ gracesgardenwalk.blogspot.com

Pretty lady said...

Gina dearest, wow, I would've never have thought you struggled with this! I often feel in opposite places from you, like having a job is not enough when I can serve in my house better. You're beautiful!

trishie said...

That gentle voice is absolutely right. Do not ever feel like you're not doing anything worthy just because you're a stay at home mom. Cheer up my dear. I actually wish I could stay home a do all the things i love everyday!

Hesper said...

I do this. And what's worse is I let jealousy often get the best of me. I envy people like you and even my own friend who watches my child during the day while I work. I hate that someone else gets to spend so much time with him. It makes me miserable. And then, on top of it, I struggle paycheck to paycheck while she and her husband often go out of town several weekends a month. I think to myself, how am I working, working, working and still unable to do what she does? Life doesn't seem fair sometimes. I hate that I let myself feel this way. I am blessed in many ways and I have tho choose to see these blessings sometimes.

I think you have a beautiful life and the work that you do, for your family and for all of us that read your blog? It matters!

GOOSE said...

Hey Gina!
My name is Goose (yep a dog). My MOM and I are big fans of See Beautiful and we just came from their blog where we learned a little about you and we have to say we were inspired by your words and how you live your life. Just beautiful! We look forward to following you. I can tell already you are a beautiful blessing to so many.
Blessings,
Goose

Erica said...

There are so many ways to be successful in life. Having a job isn't necessarily one of them. Live your life how you want. It is most beautiful that way...

Domestic Sweetheart said...

Your blog is beautiful!

Hailey Marie said...

Beautiful words of wisdom (as always!!) Thank you for this :) it touched my heart

Becky said...

Such beautiful words of wisdom to hear. Look forward to following now! Thanks for sharing on see beautiful.

Julie Marie said...

you remind me alot of myself. it always seems to be a decision to remind ourselves we are worth something, life is beautiful...because we go through these sad moments for some reason.. im sure other ppl do too, maybe you or I just voice it more... anyways, you ARE so valuable. and beautiful. an such an inspiration.

chambanachik said...

I have felt this, and even still feel it now and then, even though I'm "busy" now in the world's eyes with school and everything. It's strange how we let such a flawed earth determine our value, instead of knowing that our loved ones appreciate what we do and that God values every moment with us.

Love you, friend!

Liv Lundelius said...

so true it's important to be gentle to yourself and love yourself, treating yourself well.

and you are having a fantastic purpose you inspire people with this blog you are a mother....and there are countless more things.

Those words are beautiful.

XxxLoveIsBeautyxxX said...

love these words, great post! would you like to follow each other in gfc? let me know! http://xxxloveisbeautyxxx.blogspot.ie/

Lydia Criss Mays said...

Gina, this post inspires me with your honesty. I'm also always inspired by you. The words you leave on your blog help others grow. They leave people thinking and reflecting and hoping to be better and feeling more loved. I can't imagine a better job - and it comes from a place of kindness in you. I think one of the hardest things to do is give ourselves FREEDOM to not fit into the mold of a society driven by producing for an income. This is opposite the way many other countries live and thrive. I think you're one step ahead of all of us caught on the mouse wheel. You've decided to take the path less taken and it's made all the difference in the world. It's also inspired thousands to do the same. Thank you for that.

XxxLoveIsBeautyxxX said...

followed you back :) http://xxxloveisbeautyxxx.blogspot.ie/

fiddlehead said...

You are speaking to an issue many many feel as stay at home parents. We are much more than how our culture may try to define us based on salary. Can there be a price put on the peace we strive to create in our homes and how it translates in the world. I think not.
You deserve the opportunity to care for your family and yourself, whatever that looks like. And I happen to know....you are amazing, loving, and a bright light in the world!
love-Jeni