Are you there God? It's me, Gina.

Are You there God? It's me, Gina:
Things have gone from bad to worse, have You heard? Your whole creation has been thrown into an experience that they have never encountered before and they need You. We need to hear from You.

Are You there God? It’s me, Gina:

I know You are there because I believe what the bible says. I know You are because I’ve felt You so many
other times in my life whether it's when nothing makes sense and hurts to the core. Or in my everyday
life. I know You are here, there and everywhere. I know You are. But can I just say I don’t hear You
much these days. Why is it that I have so much to say and you don't?
It feels like the world has gone
dark, and you have gone rogue.
We are in need of a miracle because we cannot understand the mystery. 

Are You there God? It's me, Gina:
We have a person running the United States of America that uses racist slurs. But I'm sure You
know this, I'm sure You've heard him.
He's referred to COVID-19 as the "Chinese virus". Asian Americans are deeply hurt by this Lord,
and so am I. I know You are too, cuz that's the
kind of God You are.This is simply not the name of the disease.
This President calls other people names too God and it isn't presidential, regardless
of what political party one is with.
God plant compassion and love in the hearts
of Your people! Please soften hearts.

Are You there God? It’s me, Gina:

Who knows what thoughts, emotions, or new reality will appear tomorrow.
It is up in the air what will happen at all tomorrow, even the next hour.
I know I'll eat, put my sports bra on, make coffee, wash my face, journal a bit, scan Facebook,
take some pictures and go for a walk.
But this pandemic doesn’t allow for a desk calendar and has made my to-do list irrelevant.
Which isn't always a bad thing. If this pandemic has shown me anything
it's that one's life can become just as full virtually as it can out in the real world.

I know we aren’t promised tomorrow, but I kinda miss planning God.
There is no planning with this disease. 

OH! And my fear has returned, thankfully my therapist told me that was normal because You didn't really weigh in on it this time. You really are quiet these days.

Are You there God? It’s me, Gina:

The grief is piling up. Not just for me but everyone around me. Ya, I'm feeling grief, which I know all too well.
It's a pain we weren't meant to experience.
That's what You told me almost five years ago when Amy died.

Why’d you have to make me feel everything, God?
My heart is in agony for the Mama’s giving birth without loved ones around,
people dying without loved ones around, people going through chemo without loved ones around,
people undergoing surgery without loved ones around, and the list goes frustratingly on.

And there’s more! Seniors in high school are missing the incredible memories
that all the seniors that went before them experienced.
And we can't forget about our other seniors; sitting alone on their stoops without any visitors
at the ripe old age of 90 in their assisted living spaces.

And guess what? Abusers have more freedom to hurt their domestic partners,
a lot of children feel more scared than ever in their homes without school as a safety net
and isolation is turning into depression. I'm sorry but that is just much too much to bear!

Are You there God? It’s me, Gina:

I miss getting dressed, doing my hair and wearing make-up.
Thanks for being a God that understands these things.
At least I’m brushing my teeth and remembering to put on deodorant.
I'm sure my husband appreciates it. Oh, and lipgloss, somedays I'm wearing lipgloss.

It’s amazing how little we actually need or use during a pandemic, is that your point God?
I don’t need a purse, or 20 pairs of shoes, or 10 pairs of jeans, or 15 sweaters, or jewelry
or any other bell or whistle. If that’s the message, duly noted.

Are You there God? It’s me, Gina:

Can’t you see that many are losing their jobs?
Can’t you see small business owners like precious quaint restaurants are having to close and lay off
their employees who count on these jobs as their livelihood?
And God there are millions without pay, healthcare or any kind of financial support.
I don’t understand much about the politics of the economy,
but apparently, we are in a mess financially as a country. 
It hurts God it hurts. How much longer? Huh? I can’t hear You!

Are You there God? It’s me, Gina:

There are so many people without human contact, we have learned our lesson, we want it back.

Are You there God? It’s me, Gina:

We find such comfort in the mundane, daily routines.
I miss my latte runs and dutch waffle splurges at the local coffeehouse.
When do you suppose I’ll get to do that again? 

Are You there God? It’s me, Gina:

I’m not sure when I’ll get to see my family again as we live thousands of miles apart.
It makes me want to panic. This is unsettling, to say the least. When will it be safe to fly again?

Are You there God? It’s me, Gina:

I had received a memo a couple decades back on how badly we are treating mother earth, I am sorry.
We use her hard with little regard. I know I have been reckless in my 46 years here,
and I vow to do better where I can.
I will not abuse her like she’s as reliable as I think she is.
She’s not indestructible, teach me to treat her that way beyond just recycling, composting
and picking up my dog's poop.

Are You there God? It’s me, Gina:

And what do I do about my grateful heart? I feel so thankful that my closest loved ones have not

contracted COVID-19. I am thankful that I have the privilege of staying in my home where
I feel safe and at peace. I am thankful that I had already been comfortable for years with my own thoughts
and solitude.

I am thankful that I have enough money to eat, enough toilet paper to wipe and the
ability to help others. I am thankful that my health is cooperating so far in many other ways during
this pandemic. So although I feel thankful, it feels a bit like “Why do I have it so good?”
That also feels like a burden.

Are You there God? It's me, Gina:

Everywhere there is a soul on earth, there is the coronavirus. It is a world thing! Maybe not remote tribes as they don't have visitors. But the cry of my heart is the cry of Your people's hearts.

And also, I know it's the cry of YOUR HEART GOD. As they say, we are alone together. As first responders and those working on the front lines fight for us every day, I still believe You are doing the same. Fighting for us. Even when I can't see it, feel it or hear it, I believe it.

I'm just asking You to turn up the volume a bit.

Are You there God? It's me, Gina.