Monday, April 4, 2016

Living Where You Are

Let me be clear, I don't mean physically your location. I'm talking, how about not merely existing, but living, right where we're at physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually?

Day after day, week after week I hear from people from all over: "I'm not creative enough at what I do, so I'm just not going to do this anymore, so many others are more thoughtful and creative."
"I missed my kids band concert, and I raised my voice and lost my temper, I'm a terrible mother and am riddled with guilt."
"I'm so overwhelmed with working, raising children and being a good wife, and that doesn't include all the other people and events tugging me. I can't do it all, I feel like a failure."
"I'm waiting on this job, my dream job and it's just not coming through for me. I'm simply not good enough."
"My health keeps me down, and it prevents me from doing all the things I really want to do! I don't have a purpose."
"I've been trying to have children for years, and I am unable to get pregnant, I must not be blessed."
"I really miss my adult kids, I wish they were near me, and I wish I had grandkids to fill my life with!"
"My book, photograph, whatever wasn't published. I'm tired of trying. I don't have what it takes."
"I miss my family and wish I lived near them, my life is so empty without them! I'm missing out on so much."
"I missed my loved one, I am grieving so deeply, I don't want to face or live life without them."
and on and on and on and on. . .

If you can relate to even ONE of those, then you're not alone. We can all agree that life hurts, it's unfair and we don't necessarily want to be "where" we are in the process of it. We want to be there, or there, or we want this to be true, or that. But it simply isn't. Reality bites. But the radical acceptance of reality, and learning to live from a place deeper than ALL of this can help get us through. No, I bet it WILL get us through.

Is it possible to live right where you're at? Even if you are in the middle of a divorce? Even if you are in the middle of a transition, or health scare, or job dreaming??? Is it possible to know that in the middle of spilled milk, lost tempers, and tearful nights that you're OK? That that is OK? That that is where you're at and that you're more than OK, that actually right where you are is where you can live? Live how you wonder? You are alive, right? But maybe just existing and dreaming and run down, but not living? Are you in a perpetual place of, "When....." "If....." Well you don't have to be. Neither do I.

What and where is that "deeper" place I mentioned? I believe it lies deep within our souls, a place we don't like to go very often, or at all. But a place that is necessary to go to, when we want to learn to live well. People aren't taught how to do this, I wish they were! I wish it was taught in schools. But it starts with asking yourself a few questions: "Why does this hurt?" "Why can't I let this go?" "Why do I think this about myself?" Once you begin the ponderings of yourself, you'll start to hear or "see" the answers. You'll soon find out that there is something deeper within that hurts, or scares you, or bothers you. Maybe something you're angry about. And these are things worth of talking about but it's not a popular thing to do, so what happens? We keep quiet, and continue in our days, pretending we're fine, but really wishing things were different. But I know for a fact if we faced these internal "monsters that are crying out", we'd find more peace, and we'd be able to accept reality a lot easier. But it's not easy to face and be honest with our own thoughts and souls. But, it's vital we are.

Living where you are depends on it. Our life is worth a bit of soul tending.

"We never know the wine we are becoming while being crushed like grapes."
Henri Nouwen

 How are some ways we can live where we're at?

1.) Accept that there is no "right" place to be, but where you are in the process of life, can be filled with beauty. We can choose to turn our hearts to something Bigger, yes I'm talking about the One who made you, and if you don't believe that, I believe you can still shift your perspective by accepting that you're in process, it's all beauty when counted that way, and we can be thankful. Just by a shift. A new thought. Thoughts like, "This is just a season, there is a time for everything, and this will change." Thoughts like, "I know this is painful, but I believe I can still find beauty and something positive in this pain." Thoughts like, "I'm not purposeless, I'm not worthless, I'm not a failure, I'm not one lump sum of something negative just because something negative happened."

2.) Stop comparing yourself to others. We hear this all the time, but it's more than just a novel idea or thought. God made you, YOU! As cheesy as that sounds, make the most of YOU! Find your gifts, start looking within, and find what you are passionate about and how God created you to be unique to this world. God is so smart that if He wanted to have created us all the exact same way He could have, duh! Focus on who He made YOU to be. If you feel you've been jipped in any way, and that you're life simply isn't as "blessed" or full as another's, then make it full! We are such good wallowers, but we weren't made to be. We can live in possibility and thrive.
Trust me, when I did this it changed my perspective and way of life immensely.

3.) There is no doing it all, there is no failure. If I can scratch these thoughts and ideas from our line of thinking for good, I would. I literally detest them! How about we are all flawed and broken, and make mistakes and that's all part of it??? How about you're ok? How about IT'S ok even when it feels like it isn't because there is new birth and there are waiting periods, and it is hard. But it won't last forever. Trust in new birth. Trust in new things. New life. New ways. Trust in hope.

1 comment:

BARBIE said...

Thank you friend. Just what I needed to read this morning. I've been struggling with where I am in life and just merely existing, surviving. Blessings to you!