Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Projections

Projections come in many forms. Are you going to allow what someone says to you, good or bad affect you?

Anyone out there ever read Parker Palmer? He's the sweetest guy, and smart too. Next to Henri Nouwen, he's probably my favorite author. I've been reading his book A Hidden Wholeness, and let me tell ya, it's remarkable. It's given me so many life tools and new ways to approach relationships and even new ways to approach myself internally.

How quickly do we get excited or high when someone pays us a compliment? I do not receive compliments well, but when I do receive them, it feels really good. And how quickly do we feel really low when we are put down or someone shares their negative opinion of us? Super duper quickly. I've always felt uncomfortable being tossed back and forth between compliments and put downs, but I could never put my finger on it. I knew I didn't like being swayed one way or another, but I didn't know why.


Parker Palmer helped me figure this out. Here is what he writes in his book A Hidden Wholeness:

"As soon as we succumb to someone else's definition or opinion of who we are, we lose our sense of true self and of our right relation to the world. It makes no difference whether those projections make us the hero or the goat: when we allow others to name us, we lose touch with our own truth and undermine our capacity to co-create in life-giving ways with "the other". Projections are endlessly distorting. We need to resist people's efforts to name us from the outside in."

I don't know about you, but I can relate to this in more ways than I care to admit. The modeling world, the work place, professors, family, even friends. Even strangers, the list goes on. And I think it goes above and beyond just projections. Aren't we gitty if something happens in our life that is maybe related to something "cool" or someone famous? I don't know something like when Joyce Meyers started following me on Twitter (hilarious, I know), for a minute I thought that was pretty cool. I thought I was on a different level than everyone else, I thought to myself, "She's following me?!" I must be something!!! But she does not know me from adam and I have no idea why she would follow me, and it wouldn't be on my own merit anyway if she saw anything worth following--apart from God I can do no good thing. (Besides, I was on Twitter a year ago for like 5 minutes--not a fan.)

Joyce Meyers or anyone else for that matter, not even another blogger who has 10,000 followers is better or cooler than anyone else. Viewing people in that esteem screws up my esteem, and it's all false. We are all worthy, equal, and loved by God.

I think we can all pray about receiving a peace and a strength in us so that we don't react so strongly one way or another by projections. I want to be a cool cucumber when it comes to this stuff. Don't you?! Easy breezy, and content! Bring it!


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15 comments:

Andrea said...

So true!

Everyday, Looking for Rainbows said...

Thanks for the new read to get.

vintage grey said...

Hi Sweet Gina!
Thanks for sharing this today and sharing a good read!! I should read more, but always seem to keep my hands busier. Wishing you a beautiful and blessed autumn season! xo Heather

Ruth@GraceLaced said...

Gina, that is the joy and difficulty of the new online world we live in. It's just so easy to compare. I've been working to break my heart from the idol of cherishing what others think and approve of...and just let it come or go, however he chooses to use me. Thanks for the transparency and for caring about what matters.

Courtney said...

Gina this is exactly what I needed to read tonight. Oh projections! How cruel they can be. Not a fun ride to be on and I've been on it. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and encouragement. Reminds me to find my worth in Christ and to let my creativity flow out of that. Love your writing! Hugs to you. :)

-Courtney

Krista said...

So insightful Gina! I am learning to find my identity in Christ alone and not from others but it is still a struggle! As always, thank you for sharing your heart!

Creating Through LIFE said...

Well you've always seemed cool as a cucumber to me and content too :) I was just reading a book about the problem American's in general have with expecting praise. It's what drives people and it starts really young when everyone gets a ribbon just for participating. We're creating monsters!

Aubrey @ The Daily Simple said...

Oh I'll have to get a hold on that book for sure!

christina said...

good stuff and all so true!!

Julie Marie said...

absolutely perfect gina... ive struggled with this in a major way.. finding my worth in what cool people think im cool...and in blog world...what popular bloggers "follow" or "respond" to me. it sucks the life out of me and makes me want to quit...a big reason why i have stepped back,, because i realize i see my worth in people rather than in who God created me to be... I need to learn to fix that.. grrrr...

Anna said...

They say that to mend the damages of one negative comment you need at least 10 positives compliments. That also says something about how we tend to focus on the negative feedback and how we are challenged to put it in constructive use. I loved this post! And I am so glad to be back here :)

the turquoise paintbrush said...

'We are all worthy, equal, and loved by God.'
Goodness. No words. Except wow, and yes.
Love this. So much.

LeeLee said...

Bravo! So beyond true.

Lindsey Louise Bales said...

that quote is amazing, and i love this whole post!

lindsey louise

hellomrrabbitblog.com

Olivia said...

I just ordered this book! I can't wait to read it. I totally relate with this post. Thanks for sharing!