Five Years Ago

Five years ago today, I had a full hysterectomy at the age of 33. I Can't believe it's been that long since I battled that long recovery. I thought that was the end of my long surgery stretch, and so did the doctors. Coming out of that surgery, and being surprised by what was found, and the exhausting fight to get my hormones right, was no easy feat. I fought depression during those months big time. I wrote, I cried, I screamed, I shut down--but I am not here writing about this anniversary today to lament, or draw attention. I'm here to suggest something. 

Let life teach you.

I can tell you from experience after experience that life happens. By this I mean, it doesn't happen the way you write down you wish it to happen in your notebook. It doesn't happen the way you plan out in your mind. It doesn't happen according to a control panel you have that you are mastering. Sure, I get life experiences are vastly different from person to person, and I know I've had my fair share, and there are others who have had more and others who have had less trauma. The experiences I'm talking about are the ones you wouldn't necessarily want. The ones that aren't written in your notebook, and the ones that you have never envisioned for yourself or your family. I'm talking about the ones that you quite resist. The ones you, nor I would rather not experience. The ones that cause pain, suffering and torment to the body, soul and even mind. The ones that we think we'd rather not endure. The ones that we don't so much welcome. The ones that tear us apart. The ones that change our lives for the better but we don't even know it. The ones that turn out to be blessings. Those kind of experiences. You know the ones.

Taken by me on a walk.

If we allow these experiences, unexpected and all, be our teachers, then think of how much smoother they would be. Ok, I take that back, it might not make our time during the experiences smoother, but it will be well worth it for our souls, minds, and hearts if we can embrace them, and learn to let go of our perfectly in order planned out lives a bit, and accept and realize that this could teach us something if we allow it to. I can guarentee, like C.S. Lewis so well puts it--"Pain is God's biggest megaphone" and I believe it! There is something to be heard, something to be learned and something to be gained by the unexpected! Too much we are clung so tightly to how our life ought to be, or how it ought to appear, and I'm telling you, that is no way to live! {Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with a little planning, it's just that when we are clung too tightly to the ideas and visions we have high hopes for and then BOOM life happens unexpectedly, we are unable to cope, it ends up being to much to bear, whereas if we can look and approach life through the spectacles of knowing that we will be thrown curve balls, I think that helps the coping process and the devastation a bit}.

There is much to gain--some of our biggest leaders in life, Helen Keller being one of my favorite, is the perfect examples of this! 

I would say next time life decided to throw the unexpected your way, that you'd rather not much have happen, welcome it, rather than resist it. I learned through my surgical years and am still learning to let life teach me--that that was a better choice--not the easy one, but the wiser one. I let the unexpected, annoying, frustrating, confusing, excruciating times, teach me. Asked what I could learn. Asked what I could see that I didn't necessarily see right away. Sought for insight I maybe otherwise wouldn't have and fought for peace all along the way. And you can do it to, I just know it.

I am learning to let and smile more, and even laugh more often--it feels so good! God created us to smile and laugh too, and I think I too often forget that. Even though life is painful, we still have a reason, once we get pulled through the thick of it and are able--to smile!