Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Five Years Ago

Five years ago today, I had a full hysterectomy at the age of 33. I Can't believe it's been that long since I battled that long recovery. I thought that was the end of my long surgery stretch, and so did the doctors. Coming out of that surgery, and being surprised by what was found, and the exhausting fight to get my hormones right, was no easy feat. I fought depression during those months big time. I wrote, I cried, I screamed, I shut down--but I am not here writing about this anniversary today to lament, or draw attention. I'm here to suggest something. 

Let life teach you.


I can tell you from experience after experience that life happens. By this I mean, it doesn't happen the way you write down you wish it to happen in your notebook. It doesn't happen the way you plan out in your mind. It doesn't happen according to a control panel you have that you are mastering. Sure, I get life experiences are vastly different from person to person, and I know I've had my fair share, and there are others who have had more and others who have had less trauma. The experiences I'm talking about are the ones you wouldn't necessarily want. The ones that aren't written in your notebook, and the ones that you have never envisioned for yourself or your family. I'm talking about the ones that you quite resist. The ones you, nor I would rather not experience. The ones that cause pain, suffering and torment to the body, soul and even mind. The ones that we think we'd rather not endure. The ones that we don't so much welcome. The ones that tear us apart. The ones that change our lives for the better but we don't even know it. The ones that turn out to be blessings. Those kind of experiences. You know the ones.


Taken by me on a walk.

If we allow these experiences, unexpected and all, be our teachers, then think of how much smoother they would be. Ok, I take that back, it might not make our time during the experiences smoother, but it will be well worth it for our souls, minds, and hearts if we can embrace them, and learn to let go of our perfectly in order planned out lives a bit, and accept and realize that this could teach us something if we allow it to. I can guarentee, like C.S. Lewis so well puts it--"Pain is God's biggest megaphone" and I believe it! There is something to be heard, something to be learned and something to be gained by the unexpected! Too much we are clung so tightly to how our life ought to be, or how it ought to appear, and I'm telling you, that is no way to live! {Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with a little planning, it's just that when we are clung too tightly to the ideas and visions we have high hopes for and then BOOM life happens unexpectedly, we are unable to cope, it ends up being to much to bear, whereas if we can look and approach life through the spectacles of knowing that we will be thrown curve balls, I think that helps the coping process and the devastation a bit}.

There is much to gain--some of our biggest leaders in life, Helen Keller being one of my favorite, is the perfect examples of this! 


I would say next time life decided to throw the unexpected your way, that you'd rather not much have happen, welcome it, rather than resist it. I learned through my surgical years and am still learning to let life teach me--that that was a better choice--not the easy one, but the wiser one. I let the unexpected, annoying, frustrating, confusing, excruciating times, teach me. Asked what I could learn. Asked what I could see that I didn't necessarily see right away. Sought for insight I maybe otherwise wouldn't have and fought for peace all along the way. And you can do it to, I just know it.

I am learning to let and smile more, and even laugh more often--it feels so good! God created us to smile and laugh too, and I think I too often forget that. Even though life is painful, we still have a reason, once we get pulled through the thick of it and are able--to smile!

31 comments:

Desiree said...

what a beautiful blog post... i needed to read this. <3

Kassie said...

Beautiful.
I completely agree with this... I look at my journals and they are filled with things I didn't think would ever happen...full of pain and heartache...things you don't plan for, don't want. Sometimes I still wish certain things in my life had happened, BUT God used them for good...to transform me into the person He wants me to be!

Good words!

ruthy ann said...

yes, yes, yes. when i look back at my biggest hurts and struggles I can now in hindsight see God's work...

tia said...

you know already that I am not religious by any means nor do I believe in the same things as you but this post is beautiful and it is more so a universal language you speak than just the word of God. I feel like we relate in so many ways and on so many levels that it's insane. I am so happy to have met you, found you and have built a friendship. I have felt for so long that the every day "chronic" pain as the doctors say is something more than just what the doctor shrugs of his shoulder. I sometimes wish I could bully my way through a hysterectomy but I am entirely too terrified of the things I will battle after- if not what I am going through is worse now. I feel extremely discouraged every day of my life because the pain is unbearable and most days down right horrible but I have learned to live with it. Is that ok? no. but I am so use to it, it's like eating, breathing, you know, the norm. I wish I knew more about your story and how you dealt with doctors or if you even had to. sigh. I am so happy to hear how far you have come and how strong you are. You are truly inspiring to me- I say it a lot but it's way beyond true, I can't say it enough really. when I grow up, I want to be more like you <3

I'm proud of the five years YOU, yes YOU, fought for and found health in.

Jenna Grace said...

I love your positive attitude in the midst of trials. Thanks for sharing your heart!

nicole said...

beautiful beautiful beautiful.

Ruth Abel said...

Milestones like this are like finally reaching a ledge on the climb up a steep mountain. The top has not been reached yet, there is still a journey ahead, but you have come to that place where you can at last see how far you have come. And the view already takes your breath away! I look forward to arriving at the top one day and joining you at the top of yours! His goodness will see us all through. Hurrah for your journey so far!

Kevin Norman said...

Yes - my wife is for real - she's an amazing woman!!!

Laura said...

You are amazing. Such courage. Life certainly does happen, you are so right. You have such a courageous, fighting heart for our Lord. A true warrior spirit :)

Krista said...

So well said Gina. Sometimes it can be so hard but a reminder that God will make good from every situation is just what we need to hear :)

Mandy Crandell said...

Inspiring words. With all of the things I've been through, I wish I could have seen the sometimes positive results that have happened because of those instances. It's hard, though. Once in a while I still find myself remembering the bad moments. We must learn to keep pushing through with a smile.

http://mandycrandell.blogspot.com/

JackieShoemaker said...

I really enjoy reading your posts..your so inspirational! And you're a very strong woman..keep it up! :)

Creating Through LIFE said...

What a blessing it is that you are able to see how strong you have become! So thankful for you and your story.

christina said...

you are such a beautiful person inside and out! Love your quotes and pics!

Stephanie said...

This is so beautiful. I bet it's so great to look back over the last few years and see how much you've grown and how far you've come. Thank you for sharing this!

Michelle said...

Oh Gina, this is so good. So wise. So timely for me as well! My life has been a complete 180 from what I thought it would be. It's been extremely difficult to accept it, but I'm trying so hard to embrace the changes and curveballs life throws at me and trust God through it all. God is not surprised by the things I'm going through. Before I was even born He knew I would experience these things, and He's had a way out planned this whole time. Thank you so much for the reminder!

Lydia Criss Mays said...

This is a post I will bookmark. It resonates to my core and reminds me to try to find beauty in those tough, questioning moments. Beautiful.

chambanachik said...

A post I needed to read after the one I just wrote. Thank you, Gina.

Amy said...

Gina, You are such a blessing. Thank you for always being real!

amy

Daisy said...

Thank you so much for this, it so encouraging. It's hard that God sanctifies through suffering but we come out so much better when he does. It reminds me of the verse talking about being refined by fire. You hit it right on the head :)

Nicole Marie said...

You are soo inspiring!!!!

lindsay said...

'the ones that change our lives for the better but we don't even know it'....LOVE that! so painfully yet beautifully true. love how God works c:

Purposely at Home said...

Great post and loved the pics. :) I hope you are having a great weekend!

xo
purposelyathome.blogspot.com

Julie Marie said...

very true gina.. i just wrote a similar guest post today.. and allowing those experiences , the pain, the heartache, the trials to be a testimony of encouragement for others.. not letting those experiences draw value away from you, but allowing them to ADD value to you, because NOW you have something to teach others.. from what you already know =) love you.

his little lady said...

such a beautiful post and what a way to remember those trials that our thrown our way. so brave!
xo TJ

Hannah said...

beautiful post. You sound so strong and it's really inspiring that you can think so positively after everything you've been through

engineer's wife said...

welcoming pain, dissapointment and trials has become a huge part of my life (and my husbands). we have also learned that they are blessings pulling us closer to the Lord. I love you sister.

christina said...

It is amazing what God can do with our sorrows?!

Sue Masterjohn said...

This is refreshing and a good reminder as the unexpected trials continue in my life. I have definitely been changed by each and every one of them. With God's help and strength I can make it through the trials. It is the emptiness, loneliness, and "aloneness" after the death of a loved one that I struggle with.

Elisha(: said...

Ginnnaaa. I love you!! You are so strong. <3

xoxo.

Jasmine of ❤AdamAlexMommy❤ said...

this is very touching and inspirational. it takes great strength and courage to take the hurdles you had in your life to motivate yourself. you are truly an inspiration. thank you. :)