Monkey Bars

I don't know about you guys, but all throughout grade school, my

daughter lived on the Monkey Bars. 

Do kids still love the monkey bars??

It was her absolute favorite thing to do and she became really really good at it.

She had excellent speed, and glided along really gracefully. 

If you've followed along on my blog for even a month or so, you'd know that I  have a 17 year old daughter.

Her and I have a very loving, intentional, relational, trusting, open, affectionate, compassionate, grace-filled relationship. 

And up until about 3 months ago I never would have thought that I'd be hit- what has felt like a Semi-truck, 

with the typical teenage years. We just hadn't gone through it {yet}. 

Sure, none of parenting is smooth sailing, but I can say parenting this girl, has 

been close to it. We've had our fair share of stuff, but nothing like the last three months. Nothing.

One of the issues going on is her relationship with her boyfriend. She gets so emotional and lately her feelings have been getting the best of her. The happy go lucky girl I use to see everyday doesn't come around as much. Which again, I know can be normal. Thanks to Tamera, at Tamera Beardsley Blog, I have come to know and understand just how "normal" this is. And that it's OK. She'll be OK. I'll be OK.

We will find our groove, once again. Soon.

Tonight as we were talking and catching up at the dinner table, she was opening up about feeling frustrated about her feelings and emotions and how she wishes she could change and work on things deeper. She's irritated about how she's handling some stuff, and feels really overwhelmed.

I told her that one of the things I identified over the last several months with her is that she 

is clinging to things.

 She is clinging to her boyfriend. She is clinging to every small issue. She is clinging to every moving emotion like it's the Gospel Truth, and I know it feels that way. She's clinging to peoples failures. She's clinging too tightly. To too much.

I brought up The Monkey Bars. 

I asked her if she remembered how much she use to love them? She remembered. We reminisced about that for a while. And I said:

"When you first started out on the Monkey Bars you clenched your whole hand around the bar and you would not go forward. You were clinging so tightly...but that is not how you use monkey bars. You glide from one bar to the next, moving gracefully. You don't cling. You pass through. You let go. You overlook {we overlook one monkey bar too to get to the next one, remember}...

This is how you handle the things in life that seem so big, and problematic. Think of these "big issues" and irritations and feelings or happenings as you would the monkey bars.

Sure you notice something or someone that is bothering you or a situation that makes you upset, but then you don't cling to it, you move on. You see it, recognize it, gently welcome it and then you keep on movin....just like you do on the monkey bars. Don't cling to tightly to anything, or anyone. But move through all of it gracefully and gently."

I was looking desperately to find the picture I had in mind of my daughter swinging on a set, but I just couldn't locate it. Sorry for the horrible picture, but it suits the purpose. It's a good shot of moving through.

She cut her hair in May and it is growing back so slowly. She so desperately wants it long for Show Choir. So I agreed that she could get some {cheap} extensions. The Madelynn I know would be laid back and relaxed about this. But her behavior was so life or death over these extensions and how they were going to look and if they'd be long enough and on and on. I don't even think it's healthy to want them in the first place, but I indulged her on this one. Because you have to pick your battles, especially when they are teenagers.

She was clinging so tightly to these extensions like they would make or break her on stage. 

This is not the girl I raised, but this is a teenage girl with a lot of emotions and feelings; trying to sort through life and insecurities. Remember that? 

I'm still doing it.

{no matter how we parent or what we teach our kids or what unique things we have to offer them, or no matter what our style is or our beliefs, our kids are still going to become their own people. They are an extension of us, and it's not until they become teenagers do you really really see how human and independent they really are from you.}

Think of all the things we cling to. Our houses. Our cars. Our money. Our clothing. Our hair. Our spouses. Our rights. Our opinions. Our views. Our jobs. Our TV's. Our looks. We act like we own these things. 

We are chronic clingers, let's face it.

God provides everything to us, by His incredible grace.

It will all be dust one day anyway. I believe it is not really ours, but 

His anyway.

This idea of moving through life on the Monkey Bars really seemed to resonate with Madelynn. And it's resonating with me.

 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.

Romans 12:9