Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Saying I'm Sorry

I could write for hours days, on forgiveness,
but today I just want to share a little bit about saying "I'm sorry".

My daughter is a dancer, I've shared this before. She's extremely gifted
and is a natural on stage. She's one of those that you are drawn to watch
the whole time on stage.

She came home the other night after dance, and we were chattin.
I mentioned how my niece (who dances too), her cousin, got placed as a dancer in
in the 4th row, and that she felt bad about it.

I was asking Madelynn if she would call her and encourage her and help
her to feel better about being in the 4th row (like there's something wrong with that).

I caught onto my behavior and the placement of my heart the moment I mentioned that out loud.

It gets worse.

My daughter proceeded to talk and tell me she just got her placement for dance and she's in the 2nd row.
If you could have seen my face. If you could have read my mind. If you could have seen through my heart. It was not pretty. It was ugly.
I opened my mouth and said: "What?! That can't be! Are you kidding me?!"

My daughter was in shock.
I'm suppose to be teaching her here people. I'm suppose to be an example, a beacon of light. Living by example and I was falling short here, big time.
What's the matter with me?
I  proceeded to rant for a little bit, and finally realized how my response and reaction was affecting my daughter. It was clear that I thought she ought to be in the front row, and I was voicing that loud and clear, and she was hurt.
After we said goodnight, I sort of muffled that I shouldn't have said that,
but she was in a big hurry to go downstairs to get to bed. I blew it. And I knew it.

My note to her, I wrote it that night, so she'd have it when she got up in the morning before school.

I was blessed enough to get one back.

For me this is a reminder that we all fall short. 
"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." 
Romans 3:23

It's a reminder that if we are intune with our minds and hearts, we can catch ourselves,
and our ugly side--and we can get humble.
"But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, "God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble."
James 4:6

And a reminder that we all need to ask for forgiveness, 
even if it's our kids.

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4:32

"Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working." James 5:16


Natalie said...

Forgiveness is a sweet balm indeed =)

Angel Haynes said...

One of the best and most humbling things we as parents can do is apologize to our kids. Thanks for your honest post. I love reading honesty from moms! Sounds like your daughter is a sweety! I so treasure when my kids offer me forgiveness.

Erin said...

What a sweet post and a great reminder!

Ashley @ LaLuce said...

you're an amazing mama :)

Jamie said...

That is sweet.

Day-Dreamin' Optimist said...

Wow...That is such a blessing that your daughter would write you back by saying "I forgive you." You know, you still were a great example to her, because in the fault of hurting her, she learned how to respond with grace. She still learned from you :) Praise the Lord!

Heather said...

such a sweet reminder. i love that you write notes to each other, my dad and I do as well.

hannah singer said...

precious. thanks for sharing, gina! xo

gina said...

Thank you everyone for your encouragement and sweet comments. As usual, I cherish them, they are a treasure to me!

Sandy said...

Saying sorry hurts? I came across this video which reminded me of your post. If you're going to ask me though, I think saying sorry means that you're brave enough to admit your mistakes. http://youtu.be/-o-OTQXc5pY