It's Easy To Not Love

"If you love those who love you, how are you any different than anyone else? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?  Aren't even the Pagans?

And if you greet people who only greet you, what are you doing more than others?" 
Matthew 5:46

I have a friend, her name is Lois. She is 85 years old. I befriended her when I worked at Caribou 5 years ago, and we have been friends ever since. 

 This is Lois and I about 3 years ago; we are at my house, I made Spaghetti--her chin was completely orange for hours.

Lois is not easy to love. Actually, she's a pain in the butt to put it nicely. 

She definitely helps me put the term AGAPE love to use. 

AGAPE love is loving without being based on feelings or emotions. It's ACTION. The best example of this would be Jesus on the Cross dying for us.

I am not loving Lois even close to the way God loves us, but I am her friend because of his love.

Lois is an Artist. Like most famous artists such as Van gogh, Frida, Picasso; she is disturbed and has mental health issues. She is cynical, negative, but absolutely HILARIOUS. And I love talking Art with her--she always tells me she feels like she lives in a WAX MUSEUM, meaning the old people around her seem like they are Wax, like they are dead.  She's always telling me she's going to cut her ear off like Van gogh did. She's got a great sense of humor, I'll give her that.

Morning Glory/Lois Ireland 1944

She has walked out on me, yelled at me, put me down and embarrassed me (one time I went to the nursing home happy hour which I do quite often, we have Coke--and I brought my daughter with and she made a scene with Madelynn.)

She has nothing to really offer me. But I have learned through the years as I've about given up on her, that I have something to offer her.

Don't get me wrong, it's not like she has nothing to really offer me, it's just she has hurt me so much and she so negative, and rude, that it makes it difficult to find the things that are really good about her. But I stick it out, because, even though it's HARD. Even though it's UNCOMFORTABLE. Even though it's a SACRIFICE for me when I'm not feeling good. Even though it's NOT CONVENIENT. It's what I'm called to do.

2010/This is me in a self portrait Lois did of me. I think the jar line and cheek bones are too square, too harsh, but I really love it!

I am choosing love when I spend time with Lois. Just like Jesus chose love for me. That's the bottom line no matter what.
Loving her when it's not easy, which is most of the time, because based off of how she treats me, you would think I'd run for it. 
But it has taught me. It has taught me that not everyone is easy to love. As a matter of fact, some people seem down right UNlovable. 
But there is not ONE that God doesn't love. Not one. So we need to imitate that.
It's a choice.
I've grown more patient by loving her, and I've become a really good listener, and I've learned that loving people self-sacrificially IS inconvenient.  Mostly it's a TIME issue. We are so prone to selfishness; just looking out for what we want or what we feel like doing.
Loving her has taught me about commitment. Because it would be so easy to give up on our friendship.

My daughter and  I at Lois' Art Show Summer of 2010

Lois in front of her work (this is her new work that she does in her apartment)

Her and I in front of her older work, that will make her famous same day-I'm sure of it.

Lois in her Art studio/present//her apartment @ Assisted Living


So who is your Lois? 
Is it someone you see weekly, monthly or even daily? It could be your spouse. It could be your In-Laws, it could be your child or a best friend.


Loving people that don't love you the same way back or that seem unlovable, can stretch us. It can grow us, and we can make a difference in peoples lives, even though it's one small thing.
I know that Lois looks forward to our visits, and that to me is worth every uncomfortable moment spent with her.